Author Archives: anna
As if I didn’t have enough diddly diddly music at my folky foray in the summer, friend X has seduced me into another banjo extravaganza. This one involves men in dungarees, Grandad shirts and bowler hats. Not so much Mumford and Sons as Mr Mainwaring on his day off from the Home Guard. Anyway, if [...]
Last week I was very wet in the bottom department. This is what happened: my bike saddle was soaking up all the rain and when I sat on it, it all squelched out, pushing much moisture into my derriere. Not in itself too tragic but then I lost my mobile and then, my exhaust fell [...]
Winter’s Bone, what a god awful drear of a film, great if you like banjos and bobble hats but not great if you’re into interior decoration and shower gel. The plot: young pretty girl, slightly surly, goes to lots of houses with swing doors and mumbles with grubby types of similar cheerless disposition. Girl is [...]
I’m in mourning for my tomatoes. They have blight. Goodbye tomato chutney, farewell tomato soup, hasta la vista gazpacho. On a plus note, my butternut squashes are swelling nicely and my courgettes are the size of sex toys although I am having to keep this from Len, the sex tourist allotmenteer down the way, as [...]
Today, I am wearing nail varnish and eating banana cake. I have also brushed my hair so have the look of the wild woman of Borneo. Am wondering if I will always have big hair or whether at some point, it will start shrinking. I most definitely do not want to be like the woman [...]
After a fun packed summer of deflated air beds, vicious stinging nettle injuries and a very wet bottom sustained while listening to moanie musicians on harps, I’ve got that back to school feeling; keep getting the urge to polish my shoes and cover my books with nasty wallpaper. I’m also scanning the local press for [...]
Summer means camping and camping is great fun, provided you like eating burnt things and don’t mind having a constant dribble of urine down your leg from badly executed al fresco weeing. A friend has very kindly given me her two-man pop-up tent. I have a practice pop-up in my back garden but am sadly [...]
I have recently discovered two new rambling locations but, in the process have exposed myself to some al fresco romping. The first spot, we shall call it ‘the Common’ is picture perfect: it has a pond; it has water lilies; it has benches donated by dead people. It also has a mingling of topless men [...]
On Friday, I had occasion to purchase a sleeping bag. What with all the groovy festivals and camping extravaganzas I’ve got planned for the summer, I figured I could do with something bright and snuggly to hunker down in. I go into Millet’s and linger around the sleeping bag department, umming and aahing in a [...]
Friend X has a proposition for me: do I want to be a supporting artiste on a short film being made in Brighton? I’m to play ‘mature lady at a dinner party’. Any opportunity to show off, thinks I although I’m not sure about the ‘mature’ bit. When I learn there’s nudity and tomfoolery with [...]
