Archive For The “health” Category
The weather has been really nice lately. When it’s warm and sunny in the U.K. the only place to be is the beach. I thought I’d never be able to walk on the pebbles, but after only one year, my … Continue reading →
Netball brings out the wind in me. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as I get that bib on, I start evacuating, top and bottom. It doesn’t happen during Pilates, which is odd when you consider that Pilates is all about sucking in hard the vagazzle – a bit like you do [...]
It’s all go on the allotment and not just in the vegetable department. Boring Brian, the octogenarian Nordic cruise lover who tells me he can dig for 9 hours without stopping has been hanging around my compost bin wanting to chat asparagus, while Emphysema Jeff has invited me to sit on his bench and have [...]
Yesterday, I woke up with a blocked nose hole but I reckoned, if I was careful, I could survive the day’s breathing on one nostril only. I have to stress, this was a gay rambling day, guaranteed to be a titter and a half, so, I donned my cagoule and chunky socks, dropped a Cox [...]
It was an exceedingly breezy day in London town but I did clock one pair of flip flops and a strappy top. Granted, I was in the Underground at the time where the air is a tad more balmy but even so… I fought the urge to push flip flop man under the Circle Line [...]
Today I woke up with a start. I’d just had a minor disagreement with Gary Kemp who was, I think, jealous that his younger brother and fellow Spandau ballet dancer, Martin, had invited me to his apartment with a view to naughtiness. Luckily, there was a cocktail bar next door so Martin and I decamped [...]
Last week, I had another flossing incident. I was see sawing away, trying to eradicate some very clingy muesli when ping, a huge chunk of molar flew across the bathroom. So I hopped on my bike and took a trundle to the torture chamber, sorry dentist, that is Mr Pappadopoulos and his evil sidekick, Tracy. [...]
Last week I was very wet in the bottom department. This is what happened: my bike saddle was soaking up all the rain and when I sat on it, it all squelched out, pushing much moisture into my derriere. Not in itself too tragic but then I lost my mobile and then, my exhaust fell [...]
Today, I am wearing nail varnish and eating banana cake. I have also brushed my hair so have the look of the wild woman of Borneo. Am wondering if I will always have big hair or whether at some point, it will start shrinking. I most definitely do not want to be like the woman [...]
