Archive For The “sex” Category
Netball brings out the wind in me. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as I get that bib on, I start evacuating, top and bottom. It doesn’t happen during Pilates, which is odd when you consider that Pilates is all about sucking in hard the vagazzle – a bit like you do [...]
I’ve had a very green and rambly weekend. On Saturday, me and friend X did an 8 miler around Devil’s Dyke culminating in a cup of tea in a ponsified barn. The man at the kiosk, after fleecing us £3 for a small piece of gloop-topped cake with scratchings of old sawdust in it, told [...]
I know it’s spring, not only because of seeing the odd flip flop but also because insects have started to copulate in my back bedroom. Yesterday, I tried to prize apart a couple of teensy flies who were bareback riding in amongst my brussel sprouts seedlings but unfortunately, I was a bit cack handed; it [...]
Today I woke up with a start. I’d just had a minor disagreement with Gary Kemp who was, I think, jealous that his younger brother and fellow Spandau ballet dancer, Martin, had invited me to his apartment with a view to naughtiness. Luckily, there was a cocktail bar next door so Martin and I decamped [...]
As if I didn’t have enough diddly diddly music at my folky foray in the summer, friend X has seduced me into another banjo extravaganza. This one involves men in dungarees, Grandad shirts and bowler hats. Not so much Mumford and Sons as Mr Mainwaring on his day off from the Home Guard. Anyway, if [...]
